I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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