Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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