names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
