Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
