better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
