would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
only if we run a train.
done.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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