This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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