Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
