pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize