I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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