A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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