just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize