So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
