hell yes lets make some ravioli
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
