he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
