she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
