Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
