yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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