Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I can text with my tongue
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize