my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
