Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
