I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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