Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
