I looked at my own cervix.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize