I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize