Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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