just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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