when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
