Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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