Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
