i'm lost and i look like a hooker
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize