and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
