Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
This gyro tastes like lonliness
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
