So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
