Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
