people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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