your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
