no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize