margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Ladies don't puke and tell
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
