i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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