My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
