Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
