I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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