The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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