I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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