just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
