I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
