Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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