Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
