Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Sober January is a disaster.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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