Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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