if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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