My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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