Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize