i wish peter jackson would direct porn
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
