just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
