Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Two words: blizzard sex
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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