O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
