do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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