One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
