New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
