in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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