All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
