I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
