you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
