So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
