im six kinds of drunk right now
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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