watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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